I woke up out of a dead sleep and grabbed my phone just an hour ago. Katie had sent a message to let me know she just landed back on Korean soil after a few weeks stateside, some of that time staying with me. I had been thinking of her all week so I guess, even though my phone was on silent, I just knew. As soon as I answered her message my phone rang and 40 minutes went by faster than a firecracker up your pants leg (I say this because it happened to my dad and I’d never seen him move that fast before).
For the uninitiated, my friend, Kevin, from my church came up to me last year before my third trip to Korea and said words, no truer ever spoken. “I have a friend from college and I think you guys would really get along. I will connect you online and maybe you can meet in Korea.” We did meet last year, and shared a quick meal and a worship night praying for North Korea and then the lines went silent for several months. It wasn’t that we didn’t click. It’s just that life was booked up and communication was sparse. Then, through an explosion of “what in the world” events, all the calendars aligned and just as I was going to be arriving in Korea, and hopefully visiting Jeju Island to see my friends’ parents who live there, Katie was also going to be arriving on the Island to try on and marinate in the idea of ministry with some folks. And before I knew it, a phrase that aptly describes any and all adventures with Katie, I was going to be staying on the Island for four days with Katie in a house, I guess, but I wasn’t really sure and I didn’t really need to know. I just knew Jeju Island had a place for me.
The usual getting to know each other phase didn’t have a chance. We grabbed my suitcases, I was introduced to three other people, none of whom spoke English, and we drove to the….house, I think? I never really fully understood it. They left, I settled into my room and spent the first night of my life on a stone bed; right up my alley. If it’s “absolutely not”, you can bet I will sign up for most of it. In some ways that don’t really matter in the end, Katie and I are completely different. I wake up earlier than early; Katie wakes up at exactly the moment you are sure her alarm didn’t go off and we need to leave in ten minutes. I get to the airport 3 hours early and that’s only if I’m “late”. Katie gets there with “plenty of time” if you count booking a ticket at the airport and stopping at the gift shop before you get to your gate only to run full speed out of the gift shop and through the airport because she suddenly realized the plane was currently boarding. Also, Katie doesn’t drink coffee. I leave a coffee shop and start looking for the next one. I don’t understand her.
There was no room and no time for pretense. We went straight for the deep end and then swam to the side of the life pool and laughed so hard we couldn’t breathe.
We are 20 years apart, according to birth order, and neither of us acted our age because none of that mattered. What did matter is that we both understood not being understood. We roll with it better than the waves in a hurricane. I’d met my match with Katie. After a long day of adventure, we were sitting in the main room of the….house? I was on the floor enjoying the heated pad that covered the span of most of the floor, Katie was on the sort of couch when it occurred to her she needed me at. We were already in our pajamas, it was already clock strike late in the evening so, naturally, we walked to the convenient store in the dark of night and got a huge package of what looked like little rolls of bacon and came home. Katie lay on the floor this time and I shuffled those little bacon roll thingies around in the skillet until it looked like you could eat it and served it up like that’s what you do at 10 o’clock at night.
We rode ferries (I originally typed “fairies” and probably would’t have put that past us as well), played pianos wherever we found them (fancy hotel lobbies or right outside looking over the ocean in front of God and everybody). We climbed a mountain…ish…I could have gone longer but the people who graciously entertained our wild hair had other places they wanted us to see that day so we settled for “up a ways” and then back down. We changed plans on shorter than a dime with coins to spare. Flexibility of mind, will and emotions and good shoes that stop and start and turn around were the key. We laughed like you do when you snort coffee out before you can help it; loud and often and in ubers, busses, cafes, convenience stores. We were way too American out in public in Korea in that way, fit right in in other ways. When I didn’t know what in the actual world was going on, Katie would coach me in English in my left ear; “We don’t know exactly what we agreed to but we said yes and we are really excited!” so I could respond appropriately.
Katie and I share adventurous faith, we’re on a quest to say “YES” to whatever that holds and we live out loud. This morning as we caught each other up on life events; big and small, she said something that made me want to stand up and “AMEN” it. “You know, I hate small talk but I can do it when I know I’ve already gone deep with someone. I can do that with you.” (We were talking about the magnetic hangul letters on my fridge). We live for connection, we make it easily with people, but we often feel…..like the musical score in our head is somehow different than what others around us are hearing. It doesn’t make us lonely but it does make us feel odd man out at times. When you find a puzzle piece person that fits, that fills in vague thoughts you have with the perfect description, that wants to get past the crusty sandy surface to the mystery of life underneath you feel like they kept the light on for you. You feel “gotten”.
As we ended our call, which was sudden because Katie suddenly said….”You know what? I’m crashing from the trip suddenly.” and I abruptly said “Ok. Bye.” and she said “Ok. Bye. I love you.” and we hung up…..suddenly….I laughed to myself. Suddenly is a good adjective for our friendship, right from the start. You know what it is, I said to her before we hung up. We are different exactly the same. Yes, she agreed. Ok, I’m going to write about this and I have my title.
And we hung up.
But we didn’t say goodbye.
<3