For two days now, I’ve tried to catch my words in a net and stitch them together in a way that conveys what a day in my head is like here. I think I’ve figured it out enough to talk about it. It occurred to me today…..my life when I’m in Korea plays out the same as when I’m home. I look for the wonder, I expect the delight, I find the small ways life surprises. I pay attention. I don’t come to Korea to find something I don’t already have. I have learned, indeed, to be content wherever I am. I come to Korea because love was planted here and I come back to see what has grown and to tend to what was begun.
Korea is beautiful. Mountains know my name. The palaces stir my imagination. The food is endless temptation, along with iced americanos. All of it is rich and layered and stimulating. But the reason I come to Korea is because there are people here I love. What began as a vacation to see where my son had come from ,became a small ripple on the surface, barely discernible, and has sent dance waves circling around one another and swirling downward forming roots. My friends and I? We don’t intend to let the connection fade. Something important bloomed. It’s worth keeping, nurturing, turning the soil. When I climb back on the plane to fly the few miles back to Kentucky, we pick up our phones and check on the next part of our stories. Miles don’t divide as much when the ding sounds with a message and you realize you’ve never really left.
This time, this fourth time around the sun and boarding the plane to come check on my second home, things feel deeper, like it’s seeped into my bone marrow. The subway station names, the smells of the food swirling out of the cafes and into the air, the ebb and flow of the language spoken with animation and lyrical rhythm. It has begun to feel effortless to be here, easy like when you find your person and you are at home. This time, this visit “home”, I put down a different stake. Rather than pursuing anyone and everyone, I would sit quietly inside and let it come to me. I had a few things written into my calendar, priorities that I wanted to be a part of but for the in between times, those that knocked on my door, I would consider to be where my attention needed to turn. Soon I began to hear from people. Brasley and Elena, Sujeong and JS, Jenny and Sarah. It became clear where I should be. The squares on my calendar page started to fill up with names.
Being an introvert means, for me, an all in up to and over my head when I am where I am planted and then I look for the times where a name isn’t written and I feed my soul with time alone. Today, after a picnic in the park, each one bringing roasted sweet potatoes, fresh fruit, wonderful breads, apple flavored yogurt drinks and other offerings, we spent time praying for one another and walking through the park decorated by double cherry blossom trees. We left at the end of the afternoon, each going our separate ways with a full cup of connection and I headed back on the subway to my side of town. 3 stops before “home” I decided to stop at COEX mall and head for the out of the way favorite spot….A Great Cafe, introduced to me by my friend 4 years ago on my first visit. Every trip since, I find myself seeking silence and solitude there, away from the madding crowd at the end of a very good day, indeed. Tonight I chose a sandwich”set”, the Korean version of “combo”, an iced Americano and a seat all to itself. The tomato was thick and juicy, the lettuce fresh and crispy and the waxed paper wrapped around it crinkled satisfactorily. I leaned back in my chair and sent a Marco Polos to Aleisa and Rachel, Kayla and Wendy and told them the highlights. My daughter wanted something from Innisfree so I jumped back into the bustle that is the mall and went hunting and gathering. The skylights in the mall library told me the lights in the sky were dimming. The day in Korea comes earlier than at home. The hum of the special speaker talking about the search for happiness, the warm lights casting a golden blanket over people stopping to admire the beauty of the space were beckoning. “Don’t go home yet. Stay and eat cake.”
I rode the escalator to the second floor overlooking the whole library and stood for a minute.
It was its own wonderland. I smiled the kind of smile that has a contented sigh attached to it and turned towards Billy Angel Cake Shop. I like the idea of a shop …. for cake. Time was when I used to pack my water and a kimbap triangle so I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone because…what if they didn’t speak English and how do I pay and what do I ask for?? Tonight, I walked up to the counter and marveled at the art work that is Korean food.
I did what I usually do at home. “What is your favorite?” I asked the young man at the counter. I have forgotten to be shy and ask myself the “what ifs”. He told me chocolate crunch was his favorite so I ordered myself one slice of that, please and he put it on a very grown up glass plate and gave me two forks. I guess he assumed, like everyone else in the cafe was doing, that I would be sharing that 5 inch high tower of chocolate goodness, so he gave me two forks. Silly guy. I sat by a window reflecting the night and ate the whole thing.
It was good to the last crumb and I laughed at myself as I got up to leave. The subway rush hour was past and the sugar rush was threatening to take me to bed before I got home so gathered my belongings and headed to the subway. I swiped my t card but was distracted by the video I was taking on my phone and forgot to push the turnstile. I swiped my card again and it told me that, as a matter of fact, I’d already swiped it and it wouldn’t let me go so I panicked and called my daughter who told me to reach across the turnstile and reswipe it as if I’m going to ride the subway again and then swipe it to go out so I did and basically paid for a ride I didn’t take but it was way better than living out my life stuck behind a subway turnstile so that is what I did. That was a run on sentence but my mind was running on in a sentence at that moment.
I’m tucked in now, my phone sending me videos from my friends in the states just now awake and beginning their Fridays and catching up on what they missed that I sent them while they were sleeping. I set my alarm for brunch with Elena tomorrow. The air conditioning has been turned on in the building so tonight I will close my windows and snuggle up under my delicious comforter and think about how lovely it is to be alive, wherever I am in this world. <3