Thanksgiving All Year Long

Just looking at this picture makes me laugh! I had turned to get us both in the frame and decided to just lay down all the way….while she was driving through a parking lot. And we both dissolved into raucous laughter, the kind that makes you glad to be alive. In this particular picture, I’d just gotten back from Korea and I took her to a bingsu place in Cincinnati. If you haven’t tried bingsu, please do. { I think I just invented a commercial jingle.}

Lisa can do everything. E v e r y t h I n g. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say “I don’t know how.” She matches my “I don’t know how but I’ll figure it out!” perfectly. Every other week I go to her house and we do what needs to be done. She is my friend first, my employer second. But that’s usually the way it goes with anyone I come alongside. I never can seem to figure out who is actually getting the most out of it. I’ve collected some friend gems along the way in this patchwork life of mine and I wouldn’t want any other crown but one with all of them in it.

Lisa and I met when I worked at the school that her daughter and mine went to. We’d heard of each other through our kids but we would not have been able to pick each other out of a line up since we’d never seen each other before. One very fortuitous day, Lisa walked into the room where I was and the spark ignited immediately. “HI!” we both almost yelled, one friendly meets another! As the conversation continued we discovered our names….OH! I’ve heard of you from my kids! we said, almost simultaneously.

I make friends fast. I make friends easily. And then there are those that I make “family”. Being an only child, with a small extended family to boot, I have a way of gravitating to those who want more than “Nice to meet you.” Often, because I tend to bypass the shallow water for deeper waters, unexpected connection occurs. I’ve found people appreciate more than just “elevator conversation.” I’m not having it! With Lisa, that day birthed “Thanksgiving” people. Those are friends that fold you into occasions that most others only include people from the family tree. They grafted me in and I have, indeed, spent more than one holiday at their home. Some people you visit, others you “come home” to.

When you are married or when you come from a larger family than only children like myself, you have an automatic checks and balances in your life. Those are the unofficial keepers of the dose of humility. They call you out, see you at your worst and let you know it, level the ground and do not hesitate to tell you to check your attitude at the door when you need it. They see you up close. There’s value in that when they have your best interest at heart. In my case, I not only am an only child, I am an “only me” in my house. So, I intentionally create a “board of advisors” for myself. I let myself be known. Lisa, and her family, are on my “board.” I trust their wisdom, their insight and I trust that they care about me. If you find a person who will tell you the truth right to your face because they care, you find a friend indeed.

Every other week, we make a list and begin our time with lunch; always the same. Turkey and avocado wraps. As we eat we talk life, going from one rabbit trail to another. Sometimes we work quietly, each comfortable in the silence of the other. One day recently I told her about some financial decisions I needed to make. If there’s one thing about Lisa I love the most, it’s that she gets in the pool with you. She listens and gets involved. Before I left her house I was armed with some ideas. Throughout the week, she followed up with texts and calls. That willingness to “do life” together splashed motivation all over my life and with it, inspiration in other areas that have put me spinning like a top!

My writing has always been my “way in the world” and lately the response to it has gone largely silent. At first it rattled me. No one wants to hear from me, I told myself because silence has always been a way to make me leave the table. But then I remembered the podcast I’ve been making time for each day. Let them read it, let them not. You keep writing because you are a writer. No one’s lack of response changes that. Stay at the table and sit. down.

I have begun a routine of exercise and I can feel some sleepy muscles waking up. I told God about my finances and waited for a response expectantly because my favorite verse is “Sit still, my daughter, that you may learn how the matter turns out.” And turn out, it has! I keep my calendar with me wherever I go now because I can’t keep track of the people that need me and how to fit it all in! I decided to read Pachinko all the way through because I gave up once and never picked it up again and life is too short to let a book make you give up. 🙂

Lisa paid attention. That’s the thing. She plugged me back in when my battery was uninspired to spark life. Her brand of “friend” gave me back my words, my hutzpah, my zest, my fiesty kicking back at the dark. She noticed. She will say…”I didn’t do anything!” And she will be wrong. She gave me back my thanksgiving. She was being my friend. <3